Frankencast 2015

An 8 minute intro followed by a cut-and-paste hodgepodge of “deleted scenes” from 3 unreleased episodes.

What better way to start the year?

[Caution: If you love cats, Lord of the Rings, Fiona Apple or Dungeons and Dragons prepare to hear me defend them all while other people shit all over them.]

In all seriousness I must apologize for the lack of updates in recent weeks/months but we should be able to get our shit together from here on out.

Pictured: Guy with shit together...

Pictured: Guy with shit together…

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Bored Games 6: Settlers of Catan

It’s that game that everybody seems to think is so good! Settlers of Goddamned Catan!

Bored Games #5: Bohnanza

Kyle, Callie and I play the German, bean based, economics simulating, card game Bohnanza.

bohnanza

Something about hoes? I’m too hungry to write jokes.

If you hate your liver take a shot any time somebody says “bean”.

Also Kyle’s brain is tested when Josh asks him the following hypothetical questions?

1) Would you take $10M if it meant you had to transform into a Disney character everytime you ejaculated? SUBQUESTION: Which Disney character would you choose?

2) How would you take advantage of the seemingly worthless superpower of being able to see through your eyelids?

3) Would you blow a wild rhino for a rockin’ Dolph Lundgren body?

4) If you could send your consciousness back in time to inhabit the body of any 80’s superstar, who is broke and washed up by 2014, who would it be?

Which of these two dudes does Kyle secretly want to be?

Which of these two dudes does Kyle secretly want to be?

Bored Games IV: King of Tokyo

 

Today on The VTAN Podcast we give you another edition of Bored Games with our special guest Mr. Dan Fisher.

dan

His beard is good.

We tried to play  Sing King of Tokyo but ended up reminiscing about the 90’s and singing 20 year old songs like a buncha drunken sailors.

This episode is short and sweet because after we finished playing with monsters we got into the greatest most contentious game of UNO the world has ever seen. That will be another episode that we’ll release in the weeks to come.

009

SPOILER ALERT! The cat wins every game

Until then enjoy this watered down version of Pacific Rim with a bunch of dummies.
( I intentionally DIDN’T make a “Pacific Rim Job” joke. We’re way too sophisticated for that here at VTAN)

 

Bored Games #3: Smash Up!

 

 

Kyle, Callie and Josh play Smash Up! and attempt to answer the age old questions:
What kind of vegetable would you most want to bang?
What exactly is a “Steampunk Wizard”?
What’s the gayest thing that Kyle and Josh have ever done?

We even manage to work in casual racism and rape jokes…
Apologies in advance.

smashup box

Dice Roll:

Snakes and Lattes
Red Lipstick Psychology
Shot Through the Heart
Rape Condom
Cat People
Alec Trevelyan
Kyle’s Eyeballs
Harry Potter
Summer of George
Sibling Drive-alry
Traumatic Insemination
Spider-Man uses Bing
Solo Mobile
Bengals
Bangles
3 Penis Wine
Vinegar Strokes
Quatto

Bored Games: 7 Wonders

I told you we’d be back. As long as people are misguided enough to invite me over to play board games I’m gonna keep recording the conversations.

Just like Nixon.

SHUT UP, That's why!

SHUT UP, That’s why!

So here we are discussing technology, genetics, artificial intelligence and its potential to wipe out humanity.

We talk about sexual fetishism and the pros and cons of pleading insanity as a murder defense.

More than anything we discuss religion and the nature of God all while playing what is possibly the greatest board game of all time!

7w

André the Giant NOT included.

Click here to download, or use the player above to stream.

Bored Games

Anyone with even a passing familiarity with me will know that I often throw myself, enthusiastically, into multiple projects that we all know I’ll never follow through with.

Here’s yet another!

Bored Games.

A chronicle of the insane (and/or inane) conversations that spring up when playing board games with my friends. We’ve already recorded 4 of these so it’ll be a true testament to my laziness if this is the only one that ever comes out.

On today’s installment: Lord of The Rings Risk!!! The game of global domination with a Middle Earth twist.

risk

“Six sided dice are for PUSSIES!”- Gary Gygax, 1979

Join my friends Kyle, Callie and me as we discuss every bodily function in sweet, intimate detail as well as pop culture, the acceptability of slur words and all the matters of the heart.

If we make more I’ll put ’em on iTunes. For now click here to download or use the built in player above to stream